You are good enough. You really are.
So often in life - we tend to judge ourselves on all the things we do - on all our achievements - and when is enough enough? Its like we have to prove something to someone? Who are we proving this to?
Yes - we go through life - and we get graded in school, and in so many other areas of life - we get an A, B, C etc... and for so many this seems to then become the rest of their life - am I an A person - or just a B or C - and if so - is that good enough?
What does this good enough thing mean? What is this being enough all about really?
What does it matter?
How much shame is attached to this?
Have you ever given a compliment to someone and seen them turn their head away and brush it off... its as if they can't take it in...its too much - or perhaps they just think you are being nice?
I remember this used to be my story, and sometimes - it still is. Once in a while the old insecure inner child one surfaces and I just don't take it in. In those moments - I can't take it in - the shame of the old one just is so big and the old pain blocks me from being able to receive the gift of another's approval, love or gratitude towards me.
Somehow - the old internal guilt , fear or shame, does not feel I deserve this praise, because I am not enough... not good enough, not worthy enough, not whatever enough - just not enough!!
Do you know this old story?
In my life - it used to drive me to push harder and harder and harder, and give more and more and more of myself until I had nothing left.
So I went inside and found a little girl who was dealing with others who were projecting their guilt and shame onto her. They did not feel good enough and so - she could not. She spent years trying to make it up to them - trying to fix them, until she realised she could not fix them - they had to fix themselves.
She had to understand that the fear that drove them may well have been relevant for them in their time - but it was no longer relevant to her in her life. So basically - it was not about her - but about them.
The world never stopped when I stopped trying so hard.
No one suffered. The only one who had been suffering was me.
All of this resulted in the me back then not being able to accept things, or compliments, or love from others... because somehow inside I felt flawed.
So I had to go back to the one who felt that way and reassure her that she was perfect as she was... good enough as she was - in fact - more than good enough. She needed to know that she did deserve to have good things in her life. She needed to learn that is was ok to be loved - because who she was and is, as a person - was worth it... deserved it. Slowly - bit by bit - and day by day - this me - learned to lift my head up - and to look people in the eye - without flinching back. To allow myself to be seen for who I really am - a beautiful being - worthy of love and respect. Slowly I learned that what I give to others is worth a great deal, or they would not be wanting that from me. Slowly I learned that I am a very loving being - and I deserve to be loved in return - and that is was ok to accept that deep love from others.
Why else would these amazing people love me if I was not worthy of being loved?
Why else would they be sticking around to be with me if I was not worth it?
So I was able to start telling myself and really feeling it - I am enough... I am more than enough. This then allowed me to start to interact with the world around me in a much more deep and rich way. I allowed myself to really take it all in....deep inside - and to allow myself to really feel the love and the nurture from others and the world... you really have to let it in deep and let it touch you - they way - you are touching others.
This is the blessing of life- the in breath and the out breath - the giving and receiving - its a flow!
So today - just be you - and know just how special you are.
Make a list if needed... of all the qualities you have that are so special and are you... of why you are enough - and of why you are lovable.... fall in love with you... you are worth it.
You are enough.