I have been having one of those weeks where I have allowed my mind to slip into negative creation!!! Something triggered me and whoops - down I went... it got in!! What we think about - we become... what we think about - we create - one way or another!! So here I am... finding my mind slipping into delightfully negative thoughts that drag my energy down and make me emotionally feel down too.... lovely.... and for that part of my being - it is lovely... its the hippo part of me that just loves to wallow in the mud... its stinky and slippery and slimy and dark and all things blah!!! Yes - we do all have that part... that part of the ego that wants to wallow in misery - that wants to be a martyr, or that wants to be a victim.... Wants to?? Surely not!!! Who actually wants to be that?? Consciously... not many of us ... but subconsciously - there is that part of us that is attached to an ego definition of ourselves who suffer... we get addicted to our pain and misery. This part of ourselves is attached to an identity it has created for itself - its gets its life energy this way... its gets its badges of honour this way.... its the only way it knows itself - and without the pain and misery - who is it??? Can it even exist?? How many times have you heard the phrase "Rather the devil you know then the devil you don't??" This kind of programming keeps us stuck in old stories - playing the same thing over and over again in different chapters of our lives with different characters - but the same story. This part hates change - it is terrified of change - no matter what the change it..... "What if its worse???"- rather stick with what you know then take the risk that it could be different!!!!! What if its better??? What if life could be different in a very good way? What if you can succeed? What if you can be happy? Ahh... but what if people leave us because we change? Well... what kind of people only love you and pay attention to you when you are down? Are they the kinds of people you really want in your life? But what if there is no one else???? Better abusive people then none at all?? Really??? The reality is that we have all these little secondary gain programs going on... that part of our ego has devised strategies for survival that depend on us taking certain roles and playing certain games - to gain something - and until it changes that and find a more healthy way of getting what it wants - it will hold onto its old story as hard as it can - because it believes that if it does not - the results will be horrific. This is often an inner child... a young one that was doing the best it could under the circumstances it was in - to survive. This part of our being needs love and compassion... it needs to gain understanding so that it can let go of the old and make space for something better. So tune into this side of yourself... listen to what it is saying... listen to what it is trying to get. How old is this side of you? Allow an image to form in your mind... how is this one doing? Engage into conversation with it... letting the older wiser you connect to and befriend this younger you. Giving it the support and love that it is needing... helping it find other better solutions to the problems it feels it has.... allowing it to meet and connect to the spirit world and feel the loving guidance from there. Just use your imagination. Remember - the reptilian brain will take anything we think about - or imagine... as real and respond as if it is real... so don't worry about if something is real or not... lets face it... a good portion of the negative thoughts and ideas we think about are not really real either - until we hold them long enough and then they manifest. Well - lets use this fact in a more positive way. So start to imagine the support you want (for example)- don't use actual people ... just visualise yourself getting support.. and get into the feeling of it.... the feelings help you know when your thinking is on track...if it feels good - you are on track - if it does not feel good - you are off track... try something else. Support issues used to be something that was a problem for me... long ago. In the beginning - I could not imagine anyone being supportive... so I went more general... I aimed to just get the feeling of support and not be too specific about it. I lay on the ground and just allowed my body to totally relax and then I told myself... "This is what support feels like." I sat in my chair and allowed myself to become aware of how the chair was supporting me and got into the feel of it..."This is me being held". I can float really well in water - so I used to swim to the middle of the pool and then flip over and just totally relax and feel what it felt like to be so supported and held... and then imagine it was a giant hand holding me... the Hand of God... of the Universe...and then say to myself... "I am so supported". Slowly in my life - I started to notice ways in which I really was being supported... in so many ways.... I just took my attention away from those few who were not being supportive in the ways I wanted them to be - and open my mind... and allowed support to come to me in many other ways...... and then.... I started to notice the ways in which those other specific people were supporting - me... in the ways that they could. I had to see that not every one can be everything to me... just in the way that a butterfly cannot carry a human on its back - but a horse can.... allowing those who can deliver what I need to do so - and appreciating that the others could give me other things. So some people moved further away from me - and others then moved closer. Yes - life changed - but for the better in every way. So - back to my week!!! Yes - went on a wallowing trip... hahah....and I could see it - and for a while - I just consciously wallowed there - amused with myself for doing what I was doing- gaining understanding of this side of me that was afraid of the next level of change that was about to happen. Taking a deep breath I started to love this side of me - connect to it and nurture it in more healthy ways. I then found that my thinking started to shift.... I stopped imagining things and giving energy to things that had not happen and that most likely were not going to happen. So often we worry about things that have not happened... and are not actually happening... but we fear they might happen - and so we feed those thoughts... and drop our energy and eventually... yes - something like that does happen. So instead... I go general... and say to myself... ok - well - this is not helping... and it has not happened... and chance are pretty good that it will not... so what do I need right now? I may need a hug, reassurance, love... whatever it is... I either find a way to get that for myself from someone or some way where it is possible - or I just imagine it. I connect to that part of myself that can give it to me... I imagine God or an Angel coming to me and giving me this energy or healing - or whatever it is. In my case - these things are real for me... and so I experience them as real... but when I first started to do this - they were not real yet... they were just ideas.... but - I had nothing to risk - so why not just try it. Over time -they became totally real for me. Does it matter if they are really real or not? Can I prove it to anyone else? No... but... I have proven it to me as my life has changed for the better and I feel better - and actually - that is all that matters in the end. After all - what the hell is reality anyway? Most of out thoughts are just imaginings after all... and how much of those are real?? Hahaha - lets go down that rabbit hole another time!!!! For now- just start paying attention to something else.. to anything else that brings a better feeling to it. Get lost in a book.. watch a funny video ... look at a flower and smell it... play with an animal...and just notice how your energy shifts and you start to feel better.... What did I do to get out of my mood?? I watched silly humans trying to do silly things on motorbikes and falling off... no idea why this make me laugh so much - but it did... and then I was in a better space and could address my inner needs and thoughts in a much better way!!! Much love Arleen
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Are you one of those people who others walk past and seem to ignore? Are you finding that you listen to others a lot - but they don't seem to listen to you and what you have to say? Are you feeling less important to others than they feel to you?? Then its time to make yourself important to you!!! You cannot attract attention from others and support from others that well - without making yourself important to you. You have to stop and realise just how important you are. You have to put yourself in the center of your own picture of life. Until you feel that you count... and that you yourself have value - you will only draw to you others who reflect your lack of value back to you - as everyone and everything out there is a reflection back to us of how we feel about ourselves. The world is like a mirror... we get what we put out. We see reflected back to ourselves - how we feel about ourselves. If we treat ourselves badly and are harsh towards ourselves - then the world will reflect these things back to us. If we are feeling fear - the world will reflect all the reasons to feel fear right back at us from every direction. If we hate ourselves - the world will reflect all the hatred we feel right back at ourselves. We see and experience life through the filters of our feelings... our deepest feelings.. even if we are not conscious about these feelings - we can see reflected back at us.... we will be able to see our inner workings through how we experience the world. So its time to be more kind towards ourselves and to find what there is that is special about us. This is the beginnings of real self love and appreciation. The more you can be gentle towards you - the more the world is gentle back to you. The more you love yourself - the more love you will be able to see and experience.... and of course - the more you appreciate yourself - the more you will attract appreciation. However... we have to leave it up to those who are capable of giving us these things back... to be the ones who do it. You cannot ask a dog to fly in the sky...its a beautiful dog... wonderful in all its glory - and can catch and fetch a ball in a way a bird cannot. So don't expect what you are looking for to come from someone who is not yet capable of that expression. We have attracted these people into our lives precisely because they do not have that within them - or... we are not seeing it... and so have been unable to receive it. Either way - we attracted these experiences to show us where our inner minds have been. So once we change our thoughts towards ourselves - and our actions towards ourselves - the world around us will change... although it make take a bit of time to do that... step by step...but it will change. This may mean that you find yourself relocating and then living or working in a different environment. It could also mean that the people in your life change - some will no longer fit with you current vibration and so they will move away - and that is ok. They are making space for someone else who is now a match for where you are... bless them and let them go.... and allow yourself excitement about who next is coming in...someone who can now love and appreciate you the way you are now doing towards yourself. Sometimes people need to move away because they are unable to receive what we are now willing to give... as we can only receive what we ourselves are willing to give... its just how it works. So - how to make yourself more important in your life... well - stop looking for outside affirmation of who and what you are..... you have to start telling yourself the good things about yourself.. you have to start looking for your own good qualities and working on them and affirming them yourself. Look into the mirror daily and keep on looking until you can find something about yourself that you like. Sometimes you have to fake it for a while first...and that is ok - you are building new neurological pathways - it takes a bit of time. It took time for you to program yourself into a negative space about yourself - so be prepared to give yourself a bit of time to change that. Ask yourself what you need to change things today... make a list of things you want to change.. and then find something on the list each day that you can take a step towards... and allow yourself the time to do this step by step. Life is a journey after all... so give yourself permission to do it step by step and to enjoy the process - celebrating each little step as you take it... as we do a small child that is learning how to walk - step by step. Rewards yourself as you go along... when you take a step - congratulate yourself and rewards yourself in some way - be that big or small. It is the inner you - the inner child - you are working with... so be aware of this and as with all children - some encouragement and gentleness goes a long long way. Make a list of what you want to experience from others... kindness , love, appreciation etc... and then these are the very things you have to extend towards yourself! Be kind to yourself... in your words, your thoughts and actions. Be loving towards yourself - as you would to another.... and appreciate all those things that are good about you... and there are a lot of them when you really think about it. So - there will be change.... and charge... is a good thing. So open your arms wide each day and feel the energy of the change coming to you - feel the excitement of all that you deserve now coming towards you - because you deserve it... because its your birthright. Much love Arleen My question to day is "Whose life is it anyway??" Whose life are you living and why are you living it? Are you here to please others and to do what they say? Are you here to listen to others and put their wishes first? Is this their life? Is this your life?? Whose life are you living?? So often when I tackle things in my life - I hear the voices of others... now in my own head... once outside of myself!! This one thinks this and that one think that. This one thinks I should do it this way and that one thinks I should do it that way. This one wants me to behave this way and that one wants me to behave that way. This just leaves me feeling torn and lost. If I honour person A then person B is angry with me. If I follow person B's advise then person A is all sad and upset and I have somehow made their life a misery. I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't. Sound familiar?? Well - at the end of the day - no matter what I do and how kind and wonderful I try to be - someone is not going to be happy with me - because it will not be the way they believe it should be. I cannot please everyone. In fact - I can't make anyone happy ever. No one can make someone else happy. We can please someone - yes.. to a point... but only if they are open to being pleased... so they have to be open to it in the first place. You see - it starts inside us.... its a choice within us to be open or not. If someone is closed to joy then no matter how hard you try and what you do - you are not going to be able to make them happy or to please them. ...because they are closed. If someone is open to joy - then they are already in that space of joy within themselves and so - its easy to please them... they are already please able - because they are already pleased... within. So all this stuff about trying to make others happy and proud of us etc... its all about external gratification. Its also about external manipulation. "I can only be happy if you do this or that" - means I am placing the responsibility of my life and my joy in your hands... that is manipulation... and avoidance of self responsibility. You must make me happy and if I am not happy its your fault!! We are all guilty of this in one form or another - and right here - I must apologise to my family, my children and anyone else I have ever done this to... I am really sorry!!! We are trained into it - its a form of programming, and of control... its throughout our whole lives and society. In some ways - its done as a form of trying to protect our beloveds from harm. "Don't touch that hot stove", "Don't run across the road" - now these things are common sense... and are providing boundaries - so that we learn how the world around us works... But.... "If you do that you will make mommy sad... and then Mommy will think you don't love me anymore"... this is manipulation and control. Naturally we want to be happy with others... and we want those we love to be happy...and that can lead to us trying to please them. This then leads to us expecting others to be able to please us and make us happy. However... its not our responsibility to please them and make them happy, or vice versa. Oh well - our lives are full of it and the past is the past... so dropping into guilt and shame and blame is not going to help us here either... What will help is the realisation that at the end of the day - we are responsible for our own lives - for our own joy and only we can really make ourselves happy. This sets us free. Its our life ... for us to live... for us to express ourselves in... for us to be ourselves in. So... become aware of how many things you are doing to please others. Become aware of the choices you make and why you are making them...who are you making them for? Why are you making them? How does it make you feel? This awareness is your key to freedom. Start to make choices that really reflect your own honest truth - that come from your own heart and that are an expression of who you really are. What makes you happy? What brings you joy? What do you want to do and why? Its your life... live it - and please yourself... and you will find happiness there. Much love Arleen This morning I received a message from someone I had not heard from in a long time. I found myself reflecting on my life, as I was honouring the events in hers. Just taking the time to be with that person in reflection, and honouring her life, and then bringing my attention back to my own life. Wow... I am blessed... as she has been. I may not have everything in order or in place yet...and there are some areas of my life that have been a bit of a dung heap from time to time. However... all in all - when I reflect on my life - I have been, and I am, so blessed. I feel this sense of awe at just how much of my life is so rich in so many ways. I really have been helped by so many people. This means that a lot of people have taken time and effort to put into me... to help me... to spend time and energy and money on me. That is amazing. If they did this - then they must have had a very good reason... this equates to real appreciation of them of me.... I must be deeply loved and honoured. Let's face it - I don't spend a huge amount of time and energy on things that I don't appreciate and respect or honour... so I have to look at this in the same light. I have lived for all of 49 years now... and I am in pretty good health. I have been through some very rough waters and faced my own death a few times - but I have come through it. I have had wonderful help from incredible people to do this. Many of them I have been able to thank and then there are many whose names I do not know, whose faces I have not seen and I never will. Thank you. I have beautiful children... not just my own - but 4 step children, 3 grand children, and then others I have "adopted" along the way. Each one of them have brought with them such rich experiences in my life. Each one of them has taught me so much and each one has given me so much joy. Thank you. Each person who has come into my life has given me gifts of experience that have enriched me in so many ways - making me into the person I am now. I could not have learned the lessons I have and enriched my life the way it has been enriched without all these beautiful souls coming into my life.(Even though at the time I may well not have been able to see that soul beauty!!!) Yes - at times some of these experiences have been very painful, and very difficult - however - the end result of all of that - has been gold. In this moment - right now - I am living an incredible life... and without all these experiences - it would not be like this. The harder parts have been my drivers... the things that have propelled me with great force into a direction I may never have ventured or found the courage to take. The beautiful parts have left me touched to my soul with just how perfect this life really is, and can be. All have taught me what is important to me in my life...and to honour that what I find important does not need to be the same thing that someone else finds important.... and that is ok. These things have taught me to fine tune my focus and to open myself to the experiences I really want to have more of in my life. I am so grateful - thank you. I am also learning that this feeling of gratitude opens my heart, it opens my mind, my soul and my arms....and this is the position on all levels - for receiving... more... of that which I love. I love where I live... I am really learning to love this funny quirky house I live in... and the more I do - the more it really falls into place and works for us. I am learning to live and let live... to be ok with the idea that not everyone will love the same things I do - and not everyone will want the same things from life that I do - and that is also ok.... it does not make us wrong or right - just allows us the freedom to choose different life experiences. We don't even need to share the same space... and in fact - as we make our choices - we may never meet.... and that is ok too. This is all giving me a huge sense of peace - and I am so grateful for that. I have learned that if I want something different from someone I used to be close with - and they don't want those things - its ok to let them move closer to what they want and for me to move closer to what I was - because in the end - we will both get what we want....and that is good...that is a win win as both move towards what they want and feel for-fulled one way or another. Thank you....more peace. When I contemplate all these things - even the little things - like running water - which to us may be little - but to someone in a place that does not have it - ... its huge..... I feel a huge sense of expansion. Thank you. For the flowers in my garden , and the birds who visit here.... wow... how beautiful... life is here and its vibrant - and as I tune into that - I catch it and my own vibration lifts and I begin to feel more alive and more vibrant. Thank you. For the stranger in the street who looks up and into my eyes and smiles... thank you... you lift my heart as I see softness and love in the crazy business that can be city life. I see you too - thank you. Take time to look at your life today - and to reflect back... look at how much help there has been for you. Look at how much support you really have received. Think back to all the people who are involved in putting a pen together for you so that you can write. Think about all the people who are involved in you being able to read my words today... and how amazing it is that we can share like this.... Thank you - to all those unseen and unacknowledged people out there in the world who are making this connection possible. Just take the time to really feel this and acknowledge - that even though we have our bad times... and sometimes those can be hell and feel like they are going n forever.... there has been love for us... there has been support for us.... there still is.... the sun is in the sky warming us - giving us light... the earth is beneath our feet... supporting us and giving us nourishment.... the birds sing their songs of joy and remind us that there are things to be in awe of - to love - to rejoice in... to stop and admire - because when we do - they get a chance to infuse us with their being-ness and share their zest for life with us... and if we let them.. lift us up. And what about the misery we see - the pain and the senselessness.... they inspire us to take action - to change....to reach for what is better. Thank you. Much love Arleen Becoming more empowered in life - means fine tuning your focus. Ever heard the phrase "you get more of what you focus on"? What does it really mean? Is there any validity to this?? Think about it.... If you are driving - and you are focused on the road - you stay on that road.... if you let your attention wander - your car starts to veer off and you could end up on the verge or worse... Well.. the same goes for your mind and your life! If you are focused on achieving a goal - you will achieve that goal - one way or another - because all your attention is on that, and so you will see the opportunities as they arise. You are looking for them! If you are focused on bad things happening - you will hear all the bad stories , read all the bad stories, see all the bad events - both in your own life and in the lives of others. This happens because this is where your attention is - and where attention goes - energy flows!! You can get very enthusiastic about this and prove the theory to yourself!! "It happens - I know it does because I see it/experience it - and I can prove it in the newspapers!!!" Yes - of course you can... because you are out to prove this for yourself - so you are looking for it! This point of focus becomes an attraction force... like a magnet - due to our attention or focus - we will hunt down everything we can to prove our theories or ideas to ourselves (Consciously or subconsciously)!! We love to be "right"!!!! Its a delightful ego activity!! Our schooling and so - called education is all about proving things right or wrong - this is all embedded in our society. So - we can use this same procedure to turn things in the other direction. When we are "in love" - we do everything we can to see how wonderful the other is and to prove that to the world. We are focusing on all their good attributes - we hunt them down and show them to everyone and anyone whose attention we can get... "see how wonderful they are!!"... and we list all thing things we have found to prove why we should be "in love" with them. Its great!! It really is great - because that person really does have all those wonderful qualities...and we have made a decision - conscious or not - to look for them and really see and focus on those attributes............ Until they put one foot wrong... and we stop focusing on their glory..... and our attention wavers......and suddenly... oops.... bastards.... they did something (actually something they always do - but we have just not seen it before)... we catch them in a moment of doing something that we never noticed before... and bang... crash... that's it! Reality check!!! The bastards are human! They have faults... they fart, they burp, they mess from time to time, they wake up one day and they have a droopy left eye, they put themselves before me, they were snappy and harsh and rude in that moment. Now - its condemnation time!! Now - as we are on alert - we will find all the faults - we are on the hunt for them - and we feel that huge disappointment as Mr or Mrs Perfection are revealed to be flawed! Yes - we all know this story well - it applies to beloveds, to friends, to colleagues, to bosses, to jobs, to locations, to houses etc etc etc.... to life! If we believe life is hard... we will be on the hunt to find all the hard things in life and life will then prove our theory of just how hard it is! The hardness of life becomes our focus, and so that is all we see and experience....because we are actually looking for it. If we believe we are lucky - we will win things all the time, find things, be given things... and it will just continue to prove just how lucky we are. We tell others how lucky we are - and then they begin to watch our luck come rolling in and they all talk about how lucky we are too. Its wonderful - we can gather the whole worlds attention by guiding them on what to look for - on what to focus on ... look here... this is beauty... look for this..... look here - this person is a bastard... oops... no don't look now - they are being nice - rather look over there.. look over there... ok - they are being a bastard again - look back at them. We do the same with presidential candidates - hahaha... have you not seen how we have been directed in our viewpoints by media etc....?? What if we can choose our focus?? What if we can decide what we want to look for? If focus work in this way - where we get magnetically drawn to get what we are looking for - perhaps we need to decide in advance what it is we want to focus on... but from the point of view - not of proving a theory - but of consciously attracting what is good for us - of what will make us happy?? What will happen if I open my eyes to all of what someone is - rather than just their one side or their other side? Life is full of good and bad... well - its a judgement of what we think is good and bad - but there is it - there is a duality of sorts...depending on the viewpoint of the observer. What do you want to focus on? What do you thereby want to attract more of into your life? Just ask yourself these questions for now... and really think about it. Then get into your imagination and imagine attracting things things into your life....and watch.... In the mean time... just pick something simple- like... pink cars, or number plates that have the letters LA , or people wearing green shoes....and watch... focus on this and watch.... and see how many of those things suddenly start appearing in your life.... and if you can attract that....then why not go for something else that better serves you? Now some people may well be nasty sods....however... if you start to think about lovely kind people... chances are the nasty sod will move to another place where they can happily be who or what they are and prove someone's theory about the world being full of nasty sods..... while you start to move towards the world full of kindness. Many blessings Arleen |
AuthorArleen Hanks Archives
August 2019
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