Its been a long time since I wrote a blog. Life has changed and the change took time and energy...
So - here I am , now living in Coomera Queensland, and I love it!
My youngest child is a child no more - she is 19 and a ballerina in Victoria State Ballet - living her own life in Melbourne.
Everything about my life has changed - new location, new home and no children at home... so who am I now?
I am still me... yet not in the old way.
I am still mother - but not as full on as before. My children still need me - but not int he way they used to. As much as I do miss them - I also do not - as this is how it should be - they have wings and they are flying - shaping this world in their own unique and amazing ways.
I love my life. Its hard at times - very hard - but I still love life.
I love the warmth were I live - that its winter and I so seldom need to use a heater - that I can be barefoot for much of the day and not have to be rugged up.
I love the extra time I have. I enjoyed being a full on mom for all those years - but there is a part of me that is also loving the extra freedom. I have more time - quite simply, because I am not being a taxi or tutor.
Change can be really scary, or it can be really exciting.
For me - its exciting. I thrive on exploring. I love to experience life. Life is as delicious as we make it... I know there are times we get dished out something that is just horrible. This is a fact of life. But - between those times, we can enjoy the beauty and the thrill of life.
We have the choice of being in terror of the down times and staying low in worry about the up and coming doom... or we can be in the moment and enjoy the beauty and the sunshine when we have it. Don;t let the possibility of a bad day take you away from the beauty of a good one. The good days give us resilience for being able to cope when a bad one does happen. Life and death - its a cycle. Life is a cycle... there are different seasons and its all in our attitude as how we cope in those seasons.
I don't like being cold... so when its winter and I am in a cold place - I have a choice... I can be really miserable about the fact that is it winter - or - I can prepare for it and face the fact that it is winter. I need to be warm - so if I meet my needs and wear really warm clothes, eat warming foods, use a heater and heat my home (even if it means paying extra for electricity)- then I can actually shift my focus and enjoy what winter has to offer. Here - winter means no mosquitoes. Down south - winter means snow.
If we face the change , and the fears and worries that go with it - we can love ourselves through it and embrace it. We can look for the opportunities it offers and that brings movement. Alternatively we can get locked in the fear of it and freeze in our resistance... this means no movement and staying locked in the fear.
So - for me - I feel inward to the place inside of me that is in fear - that inner aspect of me is feeling fear... I connect to her and I ask her what she needs. I become my own loving parent.. and sometimes I become my own firm parent who lovingly pushes me forward - believing in me - telling me - its OK - you can do it - now go on and do it!! If its encouragement I need - I give it to myself. If its some thing or object I need - I work out how I can move towards obtaining it and take the first step. If its information - then we do a search online, or reach out for help.... but unless I connect to that part inside and ask her - and be with her - nothing is going to happen - her fear will rule me and freeze me into inaction, or reaction.
Pause - sit with the part of you in fear of the change and ask it what it needs to help it deal with the change.
When we do this - the world opens up - the tension lessons... and we become the brave adult - the intrepid explorer... and the world becomes beautiful, exciting... amazing... and we are a delighted tourist in the new world.
My next change - Module 7 and the Life Alignment Conference in Israel in just a few weeks time.
There is a part of me in fear of this - will I make a fool of myself? Will I forget my talk? Will it be good enough? Will I cope/ Will I get lost?
I could focus on all of that and if I did - I would get lost in it and become totally inactive. So - pause - listen in - inside there is a small child - she is about 5 years old - curled up and scared... she is going to a new school and there will be all these new people and children - she does not know how to make friends... she does not think anyone will like her... So I - the adult - the mother... sit with her - hold her in my arms... on my lap... sooth her.... you are a special one... you are lovely - people will like you - and if they don;t that is their problem and its not because of you. You know a few people there already and they are special and they love you - you are going to be fine - in fact - you are going to have an amazing time. You know you stuff - you have been practicing this for a long time, and you have looked at the points and read all the information and watched all the videos - you will be fine - you have an amazing brain.... as to your talk - you know this ... you love this topic.... and besides... its not you doing the talk - its me - and I know my stuff!! You can go play with the fairies in the garden - and I will do the talk... this is big girl stuff not little girl stuff - so you go play in a wonderful safe place and I will do this - this is what I love to do. Besides - look around yo - see all these angles and guides and beautiful cosmic beings? They love us - they are with us and they will help us... we have all this love and support - so lets relax. Its going to be so much fun!!!!
Now - that inner part of me relaxes,,,lets go... and the adult me can step in more fully... so I project myself forward now... into doing the talk - into having done the talk and it went so well - and people are happy... and I am happy... I feel that... and I bring that me in... she is prepared -she knows her stuff - she has already done it - so she can guide me in my remaining prep work.... I feel her energy, and there is so much love around her.... this is so reassuring. She will guide me. She is strong and powerful - she is directed... so now I am ready to write up the final draft - and pack... with great excitement.... bring it on!!!
Much love to all