My question to day is "Whose life is it anyway??" Whose life are you living and why are you living it? Are you here to please others and to do what they say? Are you here to listen to others and put their wishes first? Is this their life? Is this your life?? Whose life are you living?? So often when I tackle things in my life - I hear the voices of others... now in my own head... once outside of myself!! This one thinks this and that one think that. This one thinks I should do it this way and that one thinks I should do it that way. This one wants me to behave this way and that one wants me to behave that way. This just leaves me feeling torn and lost. If I honour person A then person B is angry with me. If I follow person B's advise then person A is all sad and upset and I have somehow made their life a misery. I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't. Sound familiar?? Well - at the end of the day - no matter what I do and how kind and wonderful I try to be - someone is not going to be happy with me - because it will not be the way they believe it should be. I cannot please everyone. In fact - I can't make anyone happy ever. No one can make someone else happy. We can please someone - yes.. to a point... but only if they are open to being pleased... so they have to be open to it in the first place. You see - it starts inside us.... its a choice within us to be open or not. If someone is closed to joy then no matter how hard you try and what you do - you are not going to be able to make them happy or to please them. ...because they are closed. If someone is open to joy - then they are already in that space of joy within themselves and so - its easy to please them... they are already please able - because they are already pleased... within. So all this stuff about trying to make others happy and proud of us etc... its all about external gratification. Its also about external manipulation. "I can only be happy if you do this or that" - means I am placing the responsibility of my life and my joy in your hands... that is manipulation... and avoidance of self responsibility. You must make me happy and if I am not happy its your fault!! We are all guilty of this in one form or another - and right here - I must apologise to my family, my children and anyone else I have ever done this to... I am really sorry!!! We are trained into it - its a form of programming, and of control... its throughout our whole lives and society. In some ways - its done as a form of trying to protect our beloveds from harm. "Don't touch that hot stove", "Don't run across the road" - now these things are common sense... and are providing boundaries - so that we learn how the world around us works... But.... "If you do that you will make mommy sad... and then Mommy will think you don't love me anymore"... this is manipulation and control. Naturally we want to be happy with others... and we want those we love to be happy...and that can lead to us trying to please them. This then leads to us expecting others to be able to please us and make us happy. However... its not our responsibility to please them and make them happy, or vice versa. Oh well - our lives are full of it and the past is the past... so dropping into guilt and shame and blame is not going to help us here either... What will help is the realisation that at the end of the day - we are responsible for our own lives - for our own joy and only we can really make ourselves happy. This sets us free. Its our life ... for us to live... for us to express ourselves in... for us to be ourselves in. So... become aware of how many things you are doing to please others. Become aware of the choices you make and why you are making them...who are you making them for? Why are you making them? How does it make you feel? This awareness is your key to freedom. Start to make choices that really reflect your own honest truth - that come from your own heart and that are an expression of who you really are. What makes you happy? What brings you joy? What do you want to do and why? Its your life... live it - and please yourself... and you will find happiness there. Much love Arleen
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This morning I received a message from someone I had not heard from in a long time. I found myself reflecting on my life, as I was honouring the events in hers. Just taking the time to be with that person in reflection, and honouring her life, and then bringing my attention back to my own life. Wow... I am blessed... as she has been. I may not have everything in order or in place yet...and there are some areas of my life that have been a bit of a dung heap from time to time. However... all in all - when I reflect on my life - I have been, and I am, so blessed. I feel this sense of awe at just how much of my life is so rich in so many ways. I really have been helped by so many people. This means that a lot of people have taken time and effort to put into me... to help me... to spend time and energy and money on me. That is amazing. If they did this - then they must have had a very good reason... this equates to real appreciation of them of me.... I must be deeply loved and honoured. Let's face it - I don't spend a huge amount of time and energy on things that I don't appreciate and respect or honour... so I have to look at this in the same light. I have lived for all of 49 years now... and I am in pretty good health. I have been through some very rough waters and faced my own death a few times - but I have come through it. I have had wonderful help from incredible people to do this. Many of them I have been able to thank and then there are many whose names I do not know, whose faces I have not seen and I never will. Thank you. I have beautiful children... not just my own - but 4 step children, 3 grand children, and then others I have "adopted" along the way. Each one of them have brought with them such rich experiences in my life. Each one of them has taught me so much and each one has given me so much joy. Thank you. Each person who has come into my life has given me gifts of experience that have enriched me in so many ways - making me into the person I am now. I could not have learned the lessons I have and enriched my life the way it has been enriched without all these beautiful souls coming into my life.(Even though at the time I may well not have been able to see that soul beauty!!!) Yes - at times some of these experiences have been very painful, and very difficult - however - the end result of all of that - has been gold. In this moment - right now - I am living an incredible life... and without all these experiences - it would not be like this. The harder parts have been my drivers... the things that have propelled me with great force into a direction I may never have ventured or found the courage to take. The beautiful parts have left me touched to my soul with just how perfect this life really is, and can be. All have taught me what is important to me in my life...and to honour that what I find important does not need to be the same thing that someone else finds important.... and that is ok. These things have taught me to fine tune my focus and to open myself to the experiences I really want to have more of in my life. I am so grateful - thank you. I am also learning that this feeling of gratitude opens my heart, it opens my mind, my soul and my arms....and this is the position on all levels - for receiving... more... of that which I love. I love where I live... I am really learning to love this funny quirky house I live in... and the more I do - the more it really falls into place and works for us. I am learning to live and let live... to be ok with the idea that not everyone will love the same things I do - and not everyone will want the same things from life that I do - and that is also ok.... it does not make us wrong or right - just allows us the freedom to choose different life experiences. We don't even need to share the same space... and in fact - as we make our choices - we may never meet.... and that is ok too. This is all giving me a huge sense of peace - and I am so grateful for that. I have learned that if I want something different from someone I used to be close with - and they don't want those things - its ok to let them move closer to what they want and for me to move closer to what I was - because in the end - we will both get what we want....and that is good...that is a win win as both move towards what they want and feel for-fulled one way or another. Thank you....more peace. When I contemplate all these things - even the little things - like running water - which to us may be little - but to someone in a place that does not have it - ... its huge..... I feel a huge sense of expansion. Thank you. For the flowers in my garden , and the birds who visit here.... wow... how beautiful... life is here and its vibrant - and as I tune into that - I catch it and my own vibration lifts and I begin to feel more alive and more vibrant. Thank you. For the stranger in the street who looks up and into my eyes and smiles... thank you... you lift my heart as I see softness and love in the crazy business that can be city life. I see you too - thank you. Take time to look at your life today - and to reflect back... look at how much help there has been for you. Look at how much support you really have received. Think back to all the people who are involved in putting a pen together for you so that you can write. Think about all the people who are involved in you being able to read my words today... and how amazing it is that we can share like this.... Thank you - to all those unseen and unacknowledged people out there in the world who are making this connection possible. Just take the time to really feel this and acknowledge - that even though we have our bad times... and sometimes those can be hell and feel like they are going n forever.... there has been love for us... there has been support for us.... there still is.... the sun is in the sky warming us - giving us light... the earth is beneath our feet... supporting us and giving us nourishment.... the birds sing their songs of joy and remind us that there are things to be in awe of - to love - to rejoice in... to stop and admire - because when we do - they get a chance to infuse us with their being-ness and share their zest for life with us... and if we let them.. lift us up. And what about the misery we see - the pain and the senselessness.... they inspire us to take action - to change....to reach for what is better. Thank you. Much love Arleen Becoming more empowered in life - means fine tuning your focus. Ever heard the phrase "you get more of what you focus on"? What does it really mean? Is there any validity to this?? Think about it.... If you are driving - and you are focused on the road - you stay on that road.... if you let your attention wander - your car starts to veer off and you could end up on the verge or worse... Well.. the same goes for your mind and your life! If you are focused on achieving a goal - you will achieve that goal - one way or another - because all your attention is on that, and so you will see the opportunities as they arise. You are looking for them! If you are focused on bad things happening - you will hear all the bad stories , read all the bad stories, see all the bad events - both in your own life and in the lives of others. This happens because this is where your attention is - and where attention goes - energy flows!! You can get very enthusiastic about this and prove the theory to yourself!! "It happens - I know it does because I see it/experience it - and I can prove it in the newspapers!!!" Yes - of course you can... because you are out to prove this for yourself - so you are looking for it! This point of focus becomes an attraction force... like a magnet - due to our attention or focus - we will hunt down everything we can to prove our theories or ideas to ourselves (Consciously or subconsciously)!! We love to be "right"!!!! Its a delightful ego activity!! Our schooling and so - called education is all about proving things right or wrong - this is all embedded in our society. So - we can use this same procedure to turn things in the other direction. When we are "in love" - we do everything we can to see how wonderful the other is and to prove that to the world. We are focusing on all their good attributes - we hunt them down and show them to everyone and anyone whose attention we can get... "see how wonderful they are!!"... and we list all thing things we have found to prove why we should be "in love" with them. Its great!! It really is great - because that person really does have all those wonderful qualities...and we have made a decision - conscious or not - to look for them and really see and focus on those attributes............ Until they put one foot wrong... and we stop focusing on their glory..... and our attention wavers......and suddenly... oops.... bastards.... they did something (actually something they always do - but we have just not seen it before)... we catch them in a moment of doing something that we never noticed before... and bang... crash... that's it! Reality check!!! The bastards are human! They have faults... they fart, they burp, they mess from time to time, they wake up one day and they have a droopy left eye, they put themselves before me, they were snappy and harsh and rude in that moment. Now - its condemnation time!! Now - as we are on alert - we will find all the faults - we are on the hunt for them - and we feel that huge disappointment as Mr or Mrs Perfection are revealed to be flawed! Yes - we all know this story well - it applies to beloveds, to friends, to colleagues, to bosses, to jobs, to locations, to houses etc etc etc.... to life! If we believe life is hard... we will be on the hunt to find all the hard things in life and life will then prove our theory of just how hard it is! The hardness of life becomes our focus, and so that is all we see and experience....because we are actually looking for it. If we believe we are lucky - we will win things all the time, find things, be given things... and it will just continue to prove just how lucky we are. We tell others how lucky we are - and then they begin to watch our luck come rolling in and they all talk about how lucky we are too. Its wonderful - we can gather the whole worlds attention by guiding them on what to look for - on what to focus on ... look here... this is beauty... look for this..... look here - this person is a bastard... oops... no don't look now - they are being nice - rather look over there.. look over there... ok - they are being a bastard again - look back at them. We do the same with presidential candidates - hahaha... have you not seen how we have been directed in our viewpoints by media etc....?? What if we can choose our focus?? What if we can decide what we want to look for? If focus work in this way - where we get magnetically drawn to get what we are looking for - perhaps we need to decide in advance what it is we want to focus on... but from the point of view - not of proving a theory - but of consciously attracting what is good for us - of what will make us happy?? What will happen if I open my eyes to all of what someone is - rather than just their one side or their other side? Life is full of good and bad... well - its a judgement of what we think is good and bad - but there is it - there is a duality of sorts...depending on the viewpoint of the observer. What do you want to focus on? What do you thereby want to attract more of into your life? Just ask yourself these questions for now... and really think about it. Then get into your imagination and imagine attracting things things into your life....and watch.... In the mean time... just pick something simple- like... pink cars, or number plates that have the letters LA , or people wearing green shoes....and watch... focus on this and watch.... and see how many of those things suddenly start appearing in your life.... and if you can attract that....then why not go for something else that better serves you? Now some people may well be nasty sods....however... if you start to think about lovely kind people... chances are the nasty sod will move to another place where they can happily be who or what they are and prove someone's theory about the world being full of nasty sods..... while you start to move towards the world full of kindness. Many blessings Arleen Today I am inspired to write about a process I use that I shared with a client recently. Ultimately - we are all one and come from the same light source..but most of us do not really think about that or connect to that...it can seem so distant. This is especially true when we are in strife of some sort...then light is dim and all is dark. People can come into our lives that feel so alien, so dark , messy and annoying!!! So - when I am in this space - I take a few moments to just stop - and breathe.... Never forget the importance of breathing - it is essential for our lives, and it calms us down... taking in oxygen deep into our lungs gives us life force energy - this is why it works!! Where I can I also close my eyes and look towards the sun or light.... breathing in the light of life so to speak! From this space I look inwards - deep into my own body and being - to where my own inner light is. Sometimes I can feel so lost that the light is so dim and so small - but - it will always be there - no matter how bad things are - because it only goes out when we leave our body for good. So long as you are alive - there will be a light source within your body. Once I can see it - I focus on it- and I consciously drop into it... as if I could shrink myself and fall right inside it... here I can breath and with each breath I imagine expanding this light in my body - more and more with each breath - breathing in the light and expanding it and breathing out the stress.... Don't worry if you can't "actually" see it - this is the mind we are working with - the imagination- the reptilian brain. This part of our brain accepts everything we imagine as real. When we think of biting into a sour lemon our mouths actually begin to salivate - this is because this part of the brain takes everything we imagine as real... so reality is what we think it is....and our cells and body will respond as if it is real....and so it becomes real. So focusing on growing this light - I expand it into my heart.. from here - the light can infect my blood and be carried in the blood to every cell of my body - I don't have to try hard here - I just have to let it happen - and it will happen automatically within 3 minutes. Once my whole body is filled with the light of my soul... I expand it with my breath outwards into my whole aura...so that my whole body is now within a bubble of my own light. From here I place an energetic shield of protection around my field... programming it to allow all that is to my highest good to enter and exit. In doing this - anything that is not meant to be in my body or field is expelled... as anything dark runs away from the light - just think of how cockroaches run from the light when you switch on the light - and so it is with lower negative energy vibrations. Once I am in this space - I begin to feel much better about life - and now I am ready to look at any other people in my life that I have been feeling negative about. Often I find that its been my own negative projection that I have placed on the other person that has made me see them as dark... it is not them I have been seeing at all - just a reflection of my own black mood! If we are wearing dark glasses - or bad mood glasses- then we see the world through that filter of our mood or belief systems - and we are not seeing the world as it is or people as they are - we are seeing our own thought forms being reflected back at us!!! Other times I will see that the person I am looking at is indeed in a dark place and they may well have forgotten their own light - or be detached from it.. but - I know- as they are alive - that deep within them is their own light - no matter how dimly it is showing. What we focus on expands and we see what we are looking for... this is the simple way that we work really. So - if we are focusing on the dark in another - then that is what we will see and attract from them. Likewise - if we look for the light in them - then we can find it and the mere act of looking for it and focusing on it - expands that light in them. This is the greatest service we can offer to another... to look for their light and expand on it. Now - if they are in the middle of a bad phase in life and deep in drugs, for example - this does not mean we let our guard down and go all airy fairy love and light... no - we still put up our boundaries - but we look from afar - from a safe space...and meditate on the light within them. But - in other situations - which is the more usual situation I find myself in....I take off my glasses of projection and start to think about all the good in the other person - all the things they are doing right... and I look into them to find their inner light... and focus on it... and soon - I feel such an opening of my heart and such a deep appreciation for that person... I literally start to see them in a different light!!! I then find that either the conflict I felt just resolves naturally - or I am able to approach them in a much lighter more open way - where we are both receptive to each other - and are able to resolve the issue in a far more constructive way that benefits both of us. Remember - what we focus on - we get more of... so we can take responsibility to focus on our own light - thereby expanding it - and the light of others... again - expanding it... and then onward to a more joyful and light filled experience. Much love Arleen There is a lot of attention beginning to be paid to how we label things... but how often do we stop and pay attention to how we label ourselves? When we label something - its a brand - its sticks.... well the same happens when we label others and when we label ourselves... its like a brand - it stick - its vibrates - it resonates... and then it magnetically attracts those qualities or things to itself, or it reflects those things back to us. How do you label others in your life? "He is a looser." "She is a cow". "He is a hunk" "She is a beaut." What happens when we label someone? We place filters on our eyes and see them according to the label...and then we focus on the label - and we judge them according to the label we have applied to prove that they deserve that label. The same happens when we label ourselves!! So what labels have you applied to yourself? Take a piece of paper - and just tune in - what are the sorts of descriptions you give yourself? What names do you call yourself? "I am so stupid... I am so forgetful.. oh I am just a clumsy klutz.... I am just being silly... I am not brave enough... I am...I am... I am...." Its like walking around with all these sticky labels attached to ourselves when we do this - and when we do it to someone else - its the same thing...we are sticking that energy or vibration onto them. Are they really true?? Is this really what we want to project onto someone else? Is this really what we want to have stuck onto ourselves? Imagine this is a child that you are doing this too... how does it feel now to stick these labels onto them? Are these things you would want that child to aspire to? This is what we are doing. We all do it.... we just need to become more aware of it and take more responsibility for it. If we want to experience a different reality - then we need to become aware of these labels, as the labels become a focus for attention and energy, and where there is more focused energy - there is an expansion of that quality or experience... we get more of it - regardless of whether it is really true or not - as its a perception. So we will see it through those filters of the labels and then experience it as if that is real... as its our "reality". So now - lets take another piece of paper and write down what we would prefer to be labeled as.... "I am...", and fill it out... just let your mind go and connect to that inner part of yourself that is your soul... and let it fill in the gaps... starting each sentence with... "I am....". Or - you can just think about what you would like to experience more of... say you want more confidence.. then write it down as ..." I am more confident", or just "I am confident". Once you have your list... then I suggest placing it on your bathroom mirror if you can - or next to your bed...and then once or twice a day.. or more if you can... read the list out loud - like a declaration. Where possible... really get into it - rev your engine up when you say them... so you can feel the energy of it... close you eyes and imagine what it would be like to be like this... imagine those qualities coming into you.... as they already are there - you are just not yet fully conscious of them yet. If you need some inspiration - then watch this delightful you tube clip of little Jessica doing her daily affirmations....www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg If we are going to label ourselves - then let's be a lot more conscious about it and productive with it - and label ourselves into empowerment. When it comes to labeling others... well we are all human after all.... try and look for some good quality you see in that person - and label them with that instead. You don't have to suddenly fall in love with them - or say things in your head about them which you have not experienced as truth... just don't harp on about it. Take a deep breath... and get into a better space... and then when you do think about them, think about something that is positive about them, and stick that label onto them. What you focus on - you get more of! One of the tricks I do... firstly I vent out my frustration.... without labels... just vent and express the emotions I am feeling. Then... once the fuzz it out... I connect to my soul and angles helpers. From this space I look for the soul in the other - I focus on the light inside them. There is always some light in there or they would not be breathing. I acknowledge that light. From there I can thank them for the lessons they teach me, and then, if I can.. I let go. Sometimes... I have to do this over and over and over again... for months..... I am so very human!! Over time - it gets easier - and then in time... the frustration levels dissipate and I am able to see more and more of the beauty and positive aspects of that person. Much of the time... what I am seeing is really my own frustrations... as others so often mirror our own short comings!! Much love Arleen So you wake up and you are putting one foot in front of the other - and you have your head down and you are focused and getting on with it.... and then...whammo... out of the blue comes this thing that just knocks the wind right out of your sails!!! Where did that come from? In times like this I always feel that its just so unfair.... here I am working hard on getting things right and on holding my vision and getting by... and whammo... really?? Ever heard of timing mate?? Nope - Guess not!! Well - in fact - the timing is always right in these cases. But - that does not stop me wanting to yell out at the world and call it all sorts of names!!! The first issue here is that my head was down - not up! The second issue is that I was focused on just getting by - and so that is what was happening - I was just getting by... no thriving - no excitement - just surviving... and its at times like that when the wind does get knocked out. Getting by is not a strong position - its a desperate one. It is not centered, and the focus is on basic survival... not expansion. Oh - so easy to say these things when I am in a better position - but - how on earth do I get from that irritating annoying struggling place into a stronger more focused one? We have to get our wind back into our sails!!! How? Firstly... when knocked down - just stay there for a few minutes and breathe and let yourself recover. Way too often I have found myself wanting to jump right up and carry on battling... but - I am not in a war zone and actually - I do have the time to take a few minutes out to stop and just be there for a while. I do have the time to just be quiet and assess what is going on before reacting... a reaction is not taking good considered action - its not a good response - its a knee jerk reaction that is coming from a place of fear - not from a place on solidity and strength. I never make my best decisions or take my best actions from that place. So stay there... stay down for a while and just be there to let your sense realign. Get your bearing back... I know I am in reaction because I can feel my heart rate increase and my breathing change and my whole body just pulls inward and gets tight. In this place I am small and fearful. I need to reconnect to my power - to my energy flow of life... to my soul. So when you find yourself in this place - stop... give yourself some time to regroup....to center... do not make any important decisions here - put everyone and everything off for a while... If you are at work - go to the toilet... generally you can catch your breath there and regroup...this buys you some time. Once alone... just breathe.... drop into that place deep inside yourself... and just breathe....and let go....and just be there.... Just take the time to be with you.... with the one who is feeling knocked.... Feel into the solidity of the earth beneath you..... and if you can turn your face to a light source - do so - if not - imagine it.... tune to the light... and let it connect into you....breathe in the light - deep into your body and let out some huge out breaths... blowing out the stress and frustration. Try not think - just be here - just filling up with the light... feeling the solidity of the earth... and letting out the stress.... There is a panicked part that will want to have it all sorted out now - immediately... so I have to talk that part into a calmer space..."its OK.. its OK... I am OK... its all going to be OK... things can all just wait a little longer... I can give myself this time and space right now - to just be... and regroup... and the decisions can wait for a while... the earth is still turning...I am still breathing... its OK". This just gives me time... time to calm own - time to recenter... time to re energize and to take myself out of fight or flight.... into a more creative space where solutions and better information can reach me - so that I make better responses - rather than panicked reactions. From this space.. of connecting to the earth and the light... I just start to look around me for good things... colours... pictures.... flowers... anything... as the more I see beautiful things or even just remember them - the better my energy levels will become... The more my energy levels improve - the more I can become calmer - and then - the highest aspect of me has access to my brain...and can think more clearly... you cannot think when you are panicked!! From here - I can see if I do need to take any immediate action... or if it can all wait for a while...often...it can actually wait. From here I can decide where my attention really needs to be - what needs my focus - and what is just panic.... How can I serve my soul, myself best? Yes.. I do have to put myself in the picture and ask that question - as at the end of the day - no matter what we do or say - it really is about ourselves. Yes - I serve many others - but not if I take panicked action.... and not if I stress myself to the point of total inaction and end up wrung up and miserable. In this space - I can now reach inside of me and find my own inner light - my own inner strength and just breathe into it... feel it growing... and growing until it fills me completely... using my imagination. Remember this is all done using the reptilian part of the brain - and this part of the brain takes everything as real - so the more I can imagine something - the better - my actual physical body will respond to this and my energy levels will change. I imagine this light inside me growing and filling every cell of my body - and I feel my posture change... and strength returning... From here - I imagine this light of my strength surrounding me as well - so that I am int he center of this bubble....and it becomes like a shield of protection... holding me... with the strength of the earth growing up my spine - feeling that straitening and connecting to the sun... to the cosmos... It does not matter what you imagine so long as it gives you protection and strength...and a feeling of calm and safety... once you have this in place... your brain can re- engage from a much better and far more creative place... as you will find the correct response you need to make - in clarity - and not a reaction from fear. No - its not always easy.... it can feel like climbing a huge mountain bare foot and bleeding... but... if we stop - and allow ourselves the time to just breathe and let go.... and connect back to ourselves, and the sun, and the earth... we can get through it - step by step...because the wind will then come back into our sails....and we will fly again! Much love Arleen Oh I am so amusing!! Well - that little ego part of me that really struggles to grow is!! I have this side of me that tries so hard to please and does not want to rock anyone's boat, or upset anyone... or cost anyone anything etc... All very well dear one - but... we still need to feed the family!!! So here is me branching out and expanding - and here is me - still trying to stay small - ahhh - amusing!! I expand and I reach out - and then I reject things that come towards me that will actually benefit me... Expansion and then contraction. Its a contradiction... and yet - this is life. So - as usual - I discover that there is yet another layer to peel off - and yet a bit more work to do. I could get really upset with the part of me that wants to contract - or I could have compassion and connect to that side of me and check in with her... often I find that when I do - this is a much younger me - one who is in fear. Yelling and getting mad that that side of me does no good - just makes her shrink more and contract more.... what she needs is reassurance , love and compassion. When I connect to her - I see she is still stuck in some old stories... where its dangerous for her to be seen or to accept things. I ask her what she needs and what will help her in that story? She needs to feel safe, and that if she accepts things she will not later be falsely accused or punished, as happened for her in those earlier stories. I surround her in loving light and give her permission to grow - to be stronger... infusing her with strong white light.... breathing in this powerful light - which is her own light.. the light of her soul... the light of her truth - that she is here to be a being of light - a being who can grow and expand and show the way for others too, who are lost in confusion.... and that there will be protection in place for her when she does. I wrap her in a purple bubble of light that repels the negativity of others and then, as she connects to Arch Angel Michael - in a coat of his protection. She now feels safer and can relax. Once she is more relaxed I can then communicate more with her and she tells me she is wanting support. I know I am working with my imagination here and that my reptilian brain does not know the difference between real and imagined - so imagination will work.... so I just sink into my chair and feel the support my chair gives me - telling myself - this is what support feels like... I am supported... and really feel it. I then imagine the chair turning into something bigger - like the Earth, or God - or great big warriors... whatever works.... and again - just feeling the support...and then I let my mind wander and list all the ways I am actually already being supported in life.... and there are so many ways and so many people out there really supporting me. Again - this part of me relaxes more and more.....and from here - I can reassure this aspect of myself that I still have a home, and have wonderful clients... I have a loving family and beautiful friends... the sun is shining... I have fresh water to drink and so on and so on - the list is really pretty impressive now...and I feel a deep sense of peace and so much gratitude for all that is already working in my life. From here - I can enter the space of accepting, rather than rejecting, the good that comes towards me as I feel safe again. From here I can trust what comes towards me. From here I can embrace my power and grow and not worry about having to hold it all or carry it all , or please the world. From here - I can just be me - being me- because that is good enough and that is why I am here - and this is where my power and success is!! Much love Arleen We have all heard the various phrases like " Don't sweat the small stuff", and "making mountains out of mole hills"... but are we listening this great advise and actually applying it in our lives? How often do we stress over things ,that at the end, really do mot matter and will have very little impact on our lives? When we pour energy into things like stress and worry- into every little factor in our lives - we are using up vital energy and time. It will serve us so much more if we applied that same energy into a direction in life that does actually matter and that will make much more difference. How often do we stress over not having enough time - and there we are - pouring all that effort and energy into something that really does not serve us? Its time to take stock and take control of our energy, and where we put it. Its time to prioritize what really matters and who really matters. So - here I ask myself- does doing this takes make a difference in my life? If yes - how important is it? If it needs to be done - then how good does it need to be done... how much energy is it worth? Does it need to be done to absolute perfection? Does it just need to be done at a basic level? To justify this - I ask myself - how much impact is the end result going to have on my life? Some things - we just need to get done and tick the box - so pouring my life and soul into it is really not worth it - just getting the basics done is good enough. Other things will have a huge impact - so even if I don't enjoy it that much - I know that getting a good result here is going to impact my life for the better - so that gives me a good motivation to do it and do it well. Changing the motivation makes a huge difference ,as then I feel real value in getting it done well, and my focus changes and the resentment and irritation levels drops. When we do something with huge resentment and irritation - it takes far more energy to do as we are working in resistance - like pushing a car uphill. So if we really need to do something because it serves us - we can then change how we feel about doing it, as we can see the benefit and focus on that - then - it takes less energy as the car will now be going downhill. If we discover that something really does not need our attention at all - just drop it...remove your focus and energy from it and let it go. Let someone else pick it up if it has meaning to them - or delegate the task to someone else who has a vested interest in getting it done... like getting paid for it. Sometimes its cheaper to hire someone else to do something, than to work though our own irritation levels to do it ourselves. other times its really beneficial for us to work through those levels and change out attitude ...so its a matter of determining which serves you better. So with each thing that comes up today , where you feel irritation - ask yourself - does this serve me? This could also apply to worrying about pleasing others, to being concerned about how you look, to fussing about having something look just right.... does it serve you? Is it going to make a huge difference to your life? Is it going to be worth the effort and energy required? If not - drop it. If yes - then how important is it - how much energy is it worth investing? Remember - everything we focus on is energy investment - it needs to be worth it. If its helping you gain what you really want from life - then go for it and change your attitude in how you do it or the attention you give it. Attitude changes the amount of energy investment and can make a huge impact on how much time it takes to get a task done. It also impacts on how we feel and how we feel impacts on our creativity levels. If you want to get creative then you need to feel good and inspired. You can create in a negative space - but - it costs more energy and more time too... so its all a matter of choice and awareness. The more aware we are - the better choices we make - the more time and effort we save - and all of that can result in better outcomes. Many blessings Arleen Today I have been reminded how important our frame of mind is when we tackle a task. If I am having to face a task - or so something - that I am not that impressed about- how I go about it and my mind set is all important. If I am grumpy and irritated - I have already closed my mind to the task - and my creative juices are shut down. The task becomes very difficult and takes so much time. I get all irritated - more so than when I started - and then end up all bitter and twisted inside and the task - when done...if done.. is a mess - or no where near as effectively done as it could have been. Inspired creativity does not come with a closed mind. Solutions do not present themselves to a closed door - which is what a closed mind is. In this blocked and stuck state - everything is an uphill battle. So what to do?? Do I really need to do this task? If no - then just toss the thing and get on with life and let go of it. If yes... then - a change of mind or mood is needed - as blocked and irritated results in a mess. So... step one is to get rid of the fizz.... express it - vent your frustration - in whatever way is suitable for your surroundings.... If I am in a public place - I often make an excuse to go to the loo - I am left in peace there- and there - I vent.. ok - not out loud... but I can pull faces - rip up loo paper... flush it all away. If I am at home and I can get some privacy - then I can scream in a pillow - kick a pillow... hit a pillow etc... rip up paper ( I love doing that)... but get the fizz out... sometimes I just get the irritated me to write it all out - about how stupid this is and how annoying it is and how is sucks etc... this is just that part of myself who has a right to feel the way it feels... give it the space to vent... Then... the calmer me has space and can come in and take over... this is a more adult functional self. This me can explain to the rest of me how to get the job done in the most cost effective way as regards time and energy...can explain the benefits of getting it done and rationalise it. Then.. time to tap into the me who can do it and who has the solutions - the super me!! You can invent any name you like for this you... its the one who can tap into creative energy and solutions - who can get highly functional and just get the job done!! I close my eyes - and I take a deep breath - letting go of any remaining frustrations.... I call on all the Beings of the Universe who are qualified to help me.... and I get really creative here. I am not beyond calling in Einstein when helping my daughter with maths!!! It really does not matter who you call in - just get creative and have fun with this - it brings a higher level of energy in.... and shifts the mood. It can even become .... God forbid... fun!!!!!! In fact -the more fun you can have with it - the higher the creative juices will flow - the better the mood and energy will be and the faster and more efficient you will do the task!! I connect to the highest aspect of myself... I visualise a column of light coming over me and infusing me with energy and solutions.... and then I breathe into it - filling myself up. I am tapping into the me who can and the me who already has done this task.... an then I move aside and let this me get on with it. Then... once done... I reward myself!!!! It does not matter how big or small the reward is - but it does matter to have a reward. Its a wonderful celebration of getting the job done!!! YEAH!! So - next time you are faced with a reluctant aspect of yourself having to do something that you are not that impressed with - or even struggling with - try this method and see how you go...it really works for me. Much love Arleen There is so much talk about unconditional love - and love being the way... that is all very well - but how on earth do we apply that to our daily lives??? How do we learn to love that person who is behaving like an out and out creep? How to we learn to love the brat who is having a full out temper tantrum at the age of 35? How do we love the selfish ### who is behaving like a prima donna?? This can all feel so challenging? What about people who are supposed to be high soul connections etc?? How do we love them if they are behaving like a sergeant magor and criticizing our every move? When I am faced with these situations - there is a part of me that just wants to say - no way - its all to hard - love be damned!! Welcome to humanity!!! Life here is not about perfection...or rather - its about loving the imperfection we are. Love starts at home - with me. I have to learn to love myself in all my perfect imperfection first. When I can love and accept myself in all my phases - then ...I can attract the love and acceptance of others, if they are able to express it... or rather - attract people into my life who can. But - what about those who are not there yet? I know I am still not there yet? So what? If I love and accept myself - their opinion of me does not matter - as I am then able to separate the egoistic human being who is struggling with all this love stuff and this messy place called Earth(Just like I am)- with the spiritual aspect of that person - who is perfect.. who is love and light - but just not perhaps expressing it right now. There is a wonderful phrase - and I forget who it comes from - but it goes like this "What others think of me is none of my business". Get out of other people's heads - its like a crazy dump heap in there sometimes... there are some great places and there are also some toxic wastelands.. yikes.. get out of there!!! Just stop and think for a moment - what is it like in your own head?? Mine is like a crazy theme park - there are wild rides and beautiful parks, and swamps and electrical storms... there is no way I want someone else running around in there.. its enough just being in there myself... so show some respect and get out of other people's heads - that is a private place! We are not on this planet to please others... its impossible anyway... as you never know which one you are trying to please... the ego.. their soul?? The soul is always pleased with you - it loves you - as you are part of it and are one... so this unconditional love things - its a spiritual thing... we aim for it where we can - but please know - the realm of the spiritual world is where there are no conditions. Here on earth - we have messy love, and crazy love, and wild love, and yukky love, and muddy love, and sunny love... and all other possible loves that you can imagine - as here we express and explore and learn. In the spiritual world - we know we are all one and we feel it and we see it... we are without the ego stuff there... and that is where pure unconditional love exists in all its beauty. This does not mean we cannot glimpse it or experience it here - we do - when we remember who we are - and when the other remembers who they are... wow - sometimes we even get to remember this together and really see the soul in each other - and then - we really feel that beautiful connection of unconditional love. But - we both have to be in the right frame of mind and connected to spirit to get there and experience this at the same time. So yes - its absolutely possible...but often - just not all the time. But how to accept another in their egoistic selves - and what about accepting ourselves when we are too - and allowing the love to flow - while on delightfully messy earth??? Well - there are saints and ascended masters walking around and they have no problem with this. Personally though - I am not there yet - I am still having a ball in being this human thing doing and living human experiences on earth - and I am enjoying it too. I have all the time in the world to get to pure ascendancy - so until I do - I am not going to put pressure on myself and expect myself to be where I am not... So - let's look at anatomy to get the answer..... We have these lovely things called chakras - and they connect to the endocrine glands of the physical body as the spiritual psychical interface. The heart chakra - the one that is all about love - is connected to the thymus gland. The thymus glad is the one that governs the immune system... the immune system is all about protection. So - this tells me that to really love on this lovely messy delightful place called Earth - we need to feel safe. I cannot love when I feel threatened. I immediately then hop into my base chakra of adrenal glands which is all about fight or flight... so safety is required. Safety talks to me about boundaries and common sense. If I really want to love a lion - I must respect it for being a lion (or be an ascended master - which I am currently not). I need to allow the animal to be what it is and allow for its natural instinctive behavior... its a lion and hence I could be potential dinner - so to really enjoy the lion and love it - I need to keep as safe distance from it while it is being lion. So the same with humans that have a lion ego expression... for example. Love and respect them for who they are knowing that they are currently expressing a predator existence and hence will be looking for victims - so some distance - or boundaries - will be required. Using images of animals helps me - and yes - this will be my projection - as they are just being themselves... and I am in my stuff too. But - if I am not feeling that safe around them then I need to create some distance until I do. Personally - in my home - I prefer to live without drugs, alcohol or smoking. Technically speaking - there is nothing wrong with these things - but I just prefer to live in a space without them - so this becomes a boundary for me. Its not wrong that others like to have these things in their lives...and so - in their space its perfectly ok for them to be experiencing these things. It will be wrong for them if they feel it is wrong - and right for them if they feel it is right. Its their world and we each create our own reality in it. What someone else puts in their mind or body is their business. Yeah - easier said than done - but really - this is what it is about... and if we apply boundaries and protection... between their world experience and ours - then we all feel much better about it. So - in theory - we learn to love and respect each other as spiritual beings having an earthly experience... so I can reach out and connect to the soul of this person in a drug world (for example)... and love them there, and send love and connect there... as its a safe place to do so.... while I keep my distance and boundaries in place here on earth. They can live in their bubble and I can live in mine. If I go to their home bubble - then I have to accept that these things that I may not want to experience will be present... and if they comes to my bubble then I can request that these things are not to be brought in. If we cannot tolerate these "rules or terms of physical engagement" with each other - then it is best that we have space from each other - and love from afar. This is ok. This is mutual respect and giving each other the right to be who and what we are in this world - knowing that right now - in this existence - we are just not that compatible with the vibration that each of us is currently expressing - and that is ok. Think about it for a moment... penguins do not live in the north and polar bears do not live in the south. Lions do not live in the south pole... and polar bears do not live in a tropical area. Nothing wrong with that is there? We each have our time and our place.. lets find harmony with that and allow for us to each exist in our own time and space... and allow that we do not have to have it all perfect right now - we are learning and growing and expressing different experiences - and that is ok. So reach out and love in the spiritual realm as unconditionally as you can... while honouring yourself as a human expression of divine love and light in a particular frequency that is not always in harmony with everything else on earth realm. Love the spirit in the other - love the soul in each other - and give each other space to be who and what you each are in the earthly realm. Its a wonderful continual work in progress - and where we are right now - is just fine. Much love Arleen |
AuthorArleen Hanks Archives
August 2019
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