Emotions are not a bad thing. They are your compass - they tell you where you are in alignment with your thinking... so from that point of view they are very useful. So often we feel we need to work past these - called "bad" emotions - and just stay happy - or suppress those"Bad" emotions. Denial is a form of suppression and suppression of emotion leads to illness. What we don't look at and explore - we don't learn from. These emotions are there to be learned from - they have a lot to show us about how we are feeling and what we are thinking... and in that way - what we are in the process of creating in our lives. So try not to ignor your emotions. Start with just being honest with yourself about how you are feeling right now. Check into your body - how is the body feeling? How does this feel there? How am I feeling? Tap into that feeling more fully - really be open with it - really sit in it for a while and let it move through you - ok - obviously make a safe space for yourself to do this. This is not about suddenly standing up in the bus and screaming out loud how angry you are feeling right now - as appealing as that may seem!!! So to explore emotions - give yourself a safe space to do it. Somewhere where you can take a bit of time to dive in and check things out - and perhaps make a bit of noise if needed or have a few tears. If you become aware of a feeling and you are not in a safe space to explore it - just make a deal with yourself to attend to it as soon as it is possible to do so safely. This is a form of self love and self care. If you do not pay attention to yourself - who else will? Remember that we attract from others what we give to ourselves... if we start to take care of our own feeling and acknowledge how we feel - then others will start to reflect that us as well. So again - if this is a form of self care and self love and acknowledgement - then by doing this for ourselves - we begin to attract care, love and acknowledgement from the outside world as well. So once you are in a safe place - just sit in your space for a while - and check in... how am I really feeling? How is my body feeling? And then tune into the place where all of this is sitting in your body.. explore it - colour, shape, size, memories, images, thought? As you focus on the area where this is all stored - these ideas and thoughts will come to mind - and you can have a dialogue with them... once we pay attention to these feelings - they will expose our thinking to us... they will show us what we have not been looking at. This can lead to ideas of resolution... of what we need, and what we can then do to address those needs. This could be in the form of realising that we are tired and need to rest more, or we are taking on too much responsibility and need to develop better boundaries, for example. We might just need a good cry - then make yourself comfortable and have it - allow yourself to express it... let it out... you will feel a lot better afterwards and your body will thank you - as what does not come out - stays in and impacts the cell health - which leads to tiredness, lower energy levels and eventually ill health. The same applies to anger... what if we discover anger inside... great - sit in it - let yourself verbalise, stamp, growl... in your safe place note - not out at anything or anyone else. This is all about self empowerment - owning our feelings and taking appropriate action towards becoming more empowered again - and while the idea of hitting out and blaming the world may seem like a wonderful idea to the ego - that is not empowerment. Once we can allow the emotions to be accessed - to be seen and to be expressed - our mind and thinking around this becomes apparent to us...from there.. we are able to gain more clarity about it all. We can then shift our focus and thinking towards what we really want to create. This may well lead in us taking steps to address the issue - which again may mean we do have to confront someone who has overstepped a boundary - but - we will do so in a way that will lead to the result we want. Sometimes we may well find that there are a lot of suppressed emotions inside... and its going to take a few visits to sort out. Great - now we know and we can commit to doing that. This may well mean we have to stew in the emotion for a while. This may not be the most comfortable place to be - but - discomfort leads us to taking appropriate action and making the changes that are needed... so the discomfort is worth it. If you keep on visiting it regularly you will survive the discomfort - as you will be tapping the edge off often enough so that it does not take you over. Just make a contract with yourself to visit it often enough to make it bearable while you journey through it...and put your seat belt on, as this will also then turn out to be a productive time of action which leads to change. Now how do those around us cope with us in these times? Warn them... let them know - "I am going through something right now - please bare with me and if needed give me space... I am just travelling some tricky waters and working through something and I really do not want to take it out on you - so if you see me under a stormy cloud.. just smile and nod and give me space - thanks." Or - if its deep sadness..." I am going through deep pain and sadness right now... I could really do with the odd hug and just letting me know that I am going to be OK - even though it hurts - I am going to be OK" The truth is that our loved ones love us and they want to be able to help. But, often they do not know how so they try and sometimes get it right - or they try and stuff it up and then get snapped at... and then that may lead them to not trying again for fear of being hurt in the process. So - what they need from us is that we tell them what we need. Remember - most of us are not clairvoyant psychics - we cannot actually read each others minds - so let people know where you are at and what you need from them - then they are in a space to let us know if they can give us that or not. Again - remember - they themselves may well be going through their own hell - so they may be able to help or they may not... that is not because they do not care... its because they are also in their own personal hell. So in those times - we are then in a position to find a neutral buddy who can be there for us. Its not fair to expect someone else to be available 24/7 all year long... just as its not fair for others to expect that of ourselves. So there is hope for these wonderful emotions - they are not our enemies - they are actually our friends - trying to show us where we are at in our heads so we can change what is needed. They are showing us where we are on our life journey... letting us know when we are on track and when we are off track!! They are our compass!! Much love Arleen
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AuthorArleen Hanks Archives
August 2019
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