You cannot heal what you hate. You cannot transform what you hate. The hatred becomes a consuming force – like a cancer - and consumes the energy to gather more of the same – becoming like a beast or monster inside you – feeding you emotions and thoughts that just keep on growing the thing.
In my studies in Psychophonetics (thanks to Yehuda Tagar, and Rudolph Steiner) – we learnt about the 3 beasts – of self-hatred, doubt and fear.
These things really are like beasts in that they are hideous, and scary and feed off our negativity.
To work with these beasties – you have to transform them and tame them. Often inside you will find a scared child, or a misunderstood aspect of yourself. Other times you find this is just old programming that you picked up as you were growing up and then brought into it and started to feed it, eventually believing that it was true.
Any story you tell yourself often enough becomes a truth. If you invest energy and time into it and focus on it – you will distort everything that comes your way in an effort to prove its validity and its truth… so no matter what someone tells you – you will turn that around and force it into fit your version of reality – your truth… and it will become very true and real for you.
Life is a series of stories that we tell ourselves… then we invest in them – we nurture them and grow them, and water them with more stories to form them into a reality…. But – this is what they are … a reality – not THE reality… they are a version of reality viewed through the filters of the stories we tell ourselves. Do any of us even know what THE reality is? Is there one? Or is reality whatever we make of it through our own thoughts, feelings and beliefs?
So, if you are hating some aspect of yourself… what you are doing is feeding this beast called hatred. It’s a very strong emotion. If you continue to hate – you cannot heal. You have to transform this hatred into something else… you have to put your attend and your focus on other things until this energy is drained from the hatred.
Write down what it is you hate, or dislike about yourself. Let’s say, for example, its your weight.
The more you hate it – the more energy you give it – the more it grows – so no matter how many diets you try and potions you use – while you hate it – you are feeding the very thing you hate.
You will then not be able to shift the weight. Hatred is a very toxic emotion and toxicity gets sored in fat – so you can hate yourself into weight gain. Those very fat cells that you hate so much are saving your life by storing those very toxic emotions. Start to think about them differently… they are life savers… they are keeping you functioning until they can slowly release their toxic load, and then when no longer needed – they will dissipate. If they dumped their load all at once you would be very ill indeed. Thank you, fat cells, for keeping me alive and functioning!! Now let them get on and do their job and start to focus instead on things that you do like about yourself… you might have great eyes, or lovely feet. Your mind may be incredibly sharp, or you could be loving and a great friend.
List all the things about yourself which are good. Really take your time to appreciate these things.
Once you are feeling better about yourself – start to imagine the life you want to lead? Perhaps its about being fitter? So, take the attention away from the weight and rather into fitness. Feed your attention there instead. How will I feel when I am fitter? What will I be doing? Really go for it with your imagination – creating this idea of a different reality… see yourself perhaps going for daily walks, and feeling good as you do so… and while you are walking paying attention to the beauty around you and how that makes you feel. Now you are feeding a better version of yourself which serves you far more than beating yourself up. This will lead you to other things you want to do and can do – and it will result in a healthier happier you – which will also eventually result in weight loss – without that having been the primary intention any more.
You can do this same thing with anything else in life that you hate. Change your focus to what is working… build your energy up until you feel better about life in general… and keep it general…and then start asking yourself how you want things to be – getting a better vision… picking one aspect of that to start working towards... and naturally action will result that will lead you to this better space.
In some cases, you will find yourself being able to look deeper inside to the one who is hurting, and giving that self what he or she needs. Meet the unmet needs of this one and your problems will dissolve.
In other cases, you will realise that these feelings are based on judgements from others that you have brought into. In our world we are bombarded by profits and sales – so get told constantly that we are not good enough – and that to be loved and approved we need to wear certain things, look in specific ways etc etc... Here we are feeding the bank accounts of people who want to get rich on our insecurities!! There are some wonderful movements out there now exposing all of these things. Get inspired by them... look on you tube for inspiration and upliftment… open your eyes and check out – to whose standards am I judging myself by? Is this an advertising campaign? Is this the belief I want to pass onto my children? What is my own truth? There are counties in this world where woman are only viewed as beautiful if they are fat – and so the girls are sent to fat farms to fatten up so that they can become beautiful. Again – what are these ideas based on, and do we want to buy into them??
It’s always an investment, of energy, of money, of time etc. What you invest in – you get more of… so what do you want to get more of? If it makes you really feel good…not just on the surface, but deep inside – then chances are you are onto a good investment… but if not… then change your investment. Investment can be seen as focus. What you focus on – you get more of.
It comes down to this… if you want more of something – then focus and invest your attention onto it – however – if you don’t like it... then stop it. Just stop… look around for what you do like... and go in that direction. In the process of doing this you will automatically clean up your act and sort out what needs to be sorted out to get to where you really want to be… which for most of us… is happiness and love.