I do not think I have ever really understood what it really means to be free before. I have always understood the concepts and spoken about it - but to really feel it - that is something new.
We talk about freedom in so many ways - emotional freedom, freedom of expression, financial freedom etc... but - what does it really mean?
I went into my deep morning meditation the other day - all of 10 minutes - and in the middle of it - I suddenly thought - I am free - and I really felt it.
Its a feeling and a mind set - its got nothing to do with what I do or do not have in my life.
Its a feeling - that no matter what happens out there - and no matter what I am bound to in various contracts ... those are external things - and are not impacting on my soul - on my life force.
In essence - I am energy. Energy is free. You can channel it and you can hold it and do things with it - but.. in and of itself - it is free.
Any thoughts of being tied down or bonded in any way - are thoughts.
Yes - I have rent to pay and that is a contact..but even so - within that contract - I am free if I feel free.
I choose to honour the contracts - but they do not need to feel like a form of bondage that strangles me.
In the past - they have always felt like they have huge weight - likes balls and chains and shackles - and I have felt dis-empowered... and freedom was something that could only be attained once this contract was complete or that bill paid - or this thing done. When this happens - then I am free to do this or that - and when this happens - then I will feel free.... so there have always been all these conditions I need to meet before I can feel free. Of course - with this sort of thinking - then the magnetic attraction of thoughts comes into action and just draws more and more bondage to itself - and freedom remains an idea - but not something that can ever be attained.
What if we are just free anyway??
We are energy - we are souls... and souls are always free.
What if the feeling of freedom is the first step to attaining freedom in all other areas of life?
This is the feeling I really connected to the other day. I am not my beliefs or programming. I am not my contracts... I am not stuck.. it just has been feeling that way. There are no real chains and metal balls hanging off my body - its all just concepts. These things are given weight - and we give them that weight.. and then they feel heavy and we can become burdened under their weight.
But - I am energy.
I am soul.
I am spirit.
My thoughts become my reality.
So - if I feel free and think free - then I am free...and no paper contracts can feel like a heavy burden - unless I think them that way. This does not mean that I do not honour them - I do - but in a very different way. I do so without the agony...without the pain and burden.. and perhaps... they then are removed and dismantled from my life a lot faster if I detach from the old meaning I have given them... if I remove the weight and burden of them.
I see that I can be in a physical prison - but I can still be free. I think this is something Nelson Mandela learned... they put him in prison and they made him do physical labour - however - they never took his mind - they never took his freedom - he always had that - and that was why he could be there and find peace, and why peace eventually won over... because he was already free.
Freedom is a state of mind , and it results in a feeling of being free... and then - the more we feel and think this way - the more our lives will begin to reflect it in all other areas.
So my freedom does not occur when various burdens and contracts are lifted off me - my freedom is already there - and the more I can feel that and think in that way - the more various burdens and contracts will dissipate and be lifted off me.
Hmmm...this is rather delicious and I think needs a lot more time to be spent feeling it.